Monday, July 30, 2007

Every time I don’t think I can sink lower, I surprise myself. A while back I signed up to an internet dating service. Those who don’t know (or will at least public admit), gay internet dating scene is basically a brokerage for anonymous sexual encounters. Being a little sick of that (I can’t seem to bring myself to do it) I signed up for a site that caters to all – meaning you don’t have to specify your dick size, if you prefer to fuck or get fucked, or PNP (“party and play” – doing coke while you are having sex).

And on this journey to normality and to get a normal boyfriend, I found myself chatting with, eeer, a guy from a rural part of Russia. What started out as a casual conversation is now absurd. He tells me he’s a jealous person, then he calls me “his love”, then, uuuugh, it just get better and better. The icing on the cake is his engligh, which is atrocious. I would tell you more but I cannot do the actual dialogue justice. So below is the latest. What the fuck am I doing? LOL

Hi my dear Matt! I am glad again to speak with you! Though we and not badly have had fun, but on my soul was a melancholy! By the way, yesterday I had quite good evening with my friends. Also, we reached in one club, there we were some hours. First we had the good supper and some glasses of champagne, then played bawling,also danced. I have remained good impressions, only when I saw , as some my girlfriends danced and kissed the men - I had small envy to them. I thought of you and represented for myself, that you, Matt, beside me.

That you embrace me too and whisper to my ear gentle words. And you
Matt, when you see around the in love people, - you recollect me? How often do you with your friends reach in any bar or club? When you are in these places girls, of course, try to get acquainted with you?

Women approach to me very often and try to begin
acquaintance, but I at once help to understand them, that these things fail with me. Matt, I often think about your messages and I
understand, that you are serious concern to me. I do not think too that our dialogue an entertainment, and I write you some very personal words and things, as to the close person. And I want to tell you Matt, that I am glad, that I have such kind person - as you! I wait for your messages and I think of you. My gentle kisses to you!

Your Sergey

Comments:
Wow. I think you could put this into iambic pentameter, if you wanted.
 
LOL. Classic. WTF????
 
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