OTAS, you found it

It goes without saying that my relationship with the company I work with has soured. This place is long on talk and short action, and I’ve been a major contributor to the degradation in morale this year.

After what I view as triumphs, getting people around to what the major problems are, what they cost us, and how to fix them, I now know that they fundamentally don’t get it. . . Thugs are still implementing “people problems”, anecdotes supersede good analytics, and more value is placed on managers then those solving problems and giving real answers. They cannot distinguish a complex problem from a difficult problem -- why America fails in the sciences. In short, it’s business as usual in the despicable caverns of corporate America. And those that are solving the simple problems quickly seem to be getting all the recognition. I’m in the wrong business.

So I’ve made a decision to investigate alternate place of employment. I contacted a head hunter, have been talking to my old employers, and am in search of companies who want real answers, not bull shit that confirms their course of action. And seeing my acute chance in work ethos, my company asked me what was wrong. I spoke of their lack of recognition of my efforts with a salary increase, and the overall inequity of their policies. Today they gave me more money.

Is it enough to change my decision to move? No. (They’ll just be paying me more while I look for a better job.)

I know what, almost certainly, what led to this gesture. . .

Someone recruited to us recently, and a high caliber person, has just quit after only one month. I encouraged it. I have also actively discouraged new hires from entering the company. Knowing that the low morale and turnover will retard their goals for the year, they threw as little money as possible at me. And its all simply too little, too late. I’d done.

So we’ll see what happens. There are a number of possibilities, but am not sure what will pan out, if anything.

Submitting an expense report of $632.12 for a dinner for two was no small feat. You see, I’ve been moved from cost center to cost center over the last year or so of my tenure with the company, the last of which was between the time the offer for this meal was made and when the expense was realized (Monday). My new boss was not too thrilled about having the bill hit his ledger and requested it hit my old boss’s (cheap bastard). I, therefore, had to send an email to the old boss, explaining what it was for, had to change the expense system’s cost center, and finally had to go through many layers of approval. Five or so fairly senior people were well aware of its amount and my old boss’s issues with it. My extravagance was worn on my sleeve.

I definitely lost some political capital with that meal. But you see, I exploited their offer as they have exploited me: I’ve been working around the clock for the last three months and can say this is the least they can do. . . Being the beast of burden has not been that easy and, to be quite frank, they’ve been getting a deal of a lifetime having me do what – and I know from experience – would have run them roughly a million in consulting fees to achieve.

Fuck them. . . I’ve taken advantage of them the same way they have of me. And if they don’t think it was worth every cent then I’m glad to find somewhere else to work.

In the meantime, I may look for somewhere else to work because I’m burning out. But if they gave me one non-negative memory to take away from the job, this was it.

My God, I could be working in investment banking and making much more in bonus for the amount of hours I’m putting in. $632.12 is a drop in the ocean for a company that makes ~40% profit by paying our agents virtually nothing.

Few see the big picture except the CEO, who laughed out loud when he heard of this.

The term “fine dining”, I’ve recently learned, has perhaps been overused. Even spending $100 a head rarely gets you to a place that even Emily Post would be happy with. But when my old boss offered to treat myself and a “significant other” to dinner at the restaurant of my choice, I decided to see what the summit dining could be at Daniel, a top-rated French restaurant here on the Upper East Side. For some reason I invited my ex boyfriend. I guess I knew that, as a snob, he’d enjoy it most, know how to order, and be most comfortable.

I arrived at Daniel’s elegant interior and waited at the bar for my guest and the table to be ready. The bartender, as he waited for me to sit and collect myself, invited me to a drink. “Martini with Belvidere strait up”. And so began the best meal of my life.

Max arrived soon after and joined me for a drink. When the table was ready they took our drinks to our table and a different waiter arrived with our menus and wine list. Then the 9 course spectacle of a meal then began.

There were four different waiters -- perfectly choreographed -- that served the wine, food, and cleaned our table as we went from course to course. Reading our minds from one moment to the next, we asked for nothing and never served a course too early or late; all in an opulent dining room with tapestries adorning the walls, stenciling on the high ceilings, and fresh flowing abounding. The sound of the room was not filled with cheesy violins, live piano, or other ornaments. Rather, New York’s highest echelon of society engaged in conversation and yes, the hustle of the wait staff acutely aware of the slightest sign of need were the sounds of this great room.

Then there was the food. Oh my. We had black truffles, crab, lamb, pigs’ feet (which, incidentally, was wonderful), mushrooms, and other courses I can’t even remember. It was amazing.

So there it was, the meal of a lifetime. Everything executed with perfection. That’s fine dining. And all at the low cost of $630. I’m sure my boss is gawking at the expense report.

Dear God, I hope the expense report goes through!