OTAS, you found it

Weekends out in Manhattan can be a landmine. People you’ve dated and didn’t call back are out, people you can’t stand are there, and people interested in you and not the other way around are crawling all over the place.

One that I’ve struggled to avoid was seeing this guy, Alfred. You may recall a blog around the holidays describing when I was invited over for Thanksgiving dinner by him. When his family left I was stuck with him one-on-one, and things got a little awkward. When I decided it was time to leave he grabbed by hand and said “I don’t want to be alone today”. I was mortified. I left. The day after, he called me and I never called back.

Last week I struck the landmine. Going out to my favorite east-side bar, he was there. Rob started talking to him and, apparently, they were talking about me, that fateful Thanksgiving day, and that he felt like he needed closure (my God, it was Thanksgiving dinner, not a divorce).

So this weekend I returned to the club he frequents and, to keep peace, I decided to apologize. Approaching him I could already tell he was not glad to see me. Nonetheless, I apologized for not calling, not explaining why I didn’t call back, etc. He said nothing to me and just shook his head up and down. You could cut the tension with a knife.

Because I didn’t even feel that I needed to apologize, I was totally annoyed. Here I was extending the olive branch and he’s threw it back in my face. So without saying anything I just walked away.

What is WRONG with these people? Did he really expect that after only a Thanksigiving dinner (which I took as a kind gesture, not a date) I’m obliged to reconcile every feeling he has for me with my actions. Can people just tell it’s nothing worth talking about. . . that you made me feel awkward and I simply didn’t want to deal with it. “I’m not into you”: Do you really want to hear that?

But like a trooper, I didn’t let this experience ruin an otherwise perfectly good night. Tom and Jim came by and we had a few. After they left I sat by the bar. Little did I know another I was going over to another landmine.

An older gentleman came over to me and we began to talk. He seemed perfectly harmless so I had no problem indulging the conversation. After a few minutes he said to me: “I would like to take you home. How much?”

Boom! Another landmine: Those people out looking for male prostitutes.

I managed to get out something like: “I’m just out to have a good time, nothing more.” And he walked away.

Do I really look like a common hooker? My god! (Don't answer that.)

At this point it is late and friends of Jim and Tom start talking to me. They are annoying (a minor landmine in an of itself) and I decide that in his place you have to seek out your company, not be sought out.

As ammo, I order a stiff drink when someone across the bar the catches my eye. He is with someone else. . . looks like a friend, but I have to see. The friend looks at me and seems a little protective of this guy and shoots a glare back my way. I respond with a smile and lift my martini glass in the air to him. He seemed to get a kick out of it. (I would never pull that off sober.)

The friend leaves and I meet the guy. The rest is history. We hung out together over the weekend and he wants to get together this week. Who know what’ll happen. But I certainly don’t want to mine the field any more than it is.

. . . . the comedy is stupendous.